Frank : "Tell me miss, given the circumstances which one of us would you take home tonight?"
Waitress : "You mean like to 'the home'?"
Frank : "Yeah."
Waitress : "Like the retirement home?"
Ethan : "Dr. Corvin your country needs you."
Frank : "Put a sock in it sonny."
Frank : "Ethan, what the hell is going on? What is this damn thing?"
Ethan : "A Russian communications satellite colonel."
Frank : "Bullsh*t! You don't think I know a nuclear launch platform when I see it!"
Bob : "But I can't fill up a space shuttle with geriatrics, and you ought to be professional enough to know that! Hell, half those boys are probably dead anyway"
Frank : "Clock's ticking Bob, and I'm only getting older."
Hawk : "I believe he is harassing you already son, you..."
Man : "I'll put you in the hospital old man."
Frank : "Well I've got Medicare, go ahead and shoot your best shot!"
Ethan : "So the relay patch is the key?"
Frank : "...the nose on your face."
Ethan : "How did you bypass the heat exchange?"
Frank : "I didn't bypass anything."
Ethan : "You're not being very forthcoming on the workings of the guidance systems."
Frank : "Look kid, I just...I've done everything short of calculus instructions to bring you up to speed on this. What do you want me to do, draw you a picture? Connect all the little dots?"
Ethan : "Excuse me, I hold two master degrees from MIT, Dr. Corvin."
Frank : "Maybe you ought to get your money back."
Hawk : "Try to look a little perkier, will ya fella's?"
Jerry : "You still want to go on with this Frank?"
Frank : "What do you want to do, quit now? We just got finished with all the tough stuff. Tomorrow will start training for the mission. I want everybody to get a good nights sleep tonight."
Tank : "There's a real challenge."
Hawk : "What are you doing?"
Jerry : "Huh?"
Hawk : "What are you doing!"
Jerry : "Umm...my damn teeth broke...ummm..."
Frank : "Damn Jerry."
Hawk : "You got another problem."
Frank : "What? Oh no. Even if we get this thing going, it's not going to have enough power with two broken panels."
Hawk : "Take the kid back. I'll handle this."
Frank : "And just how are you going to handle it professor, you're a pilot remember?"
Hawk : "I'll need all the extra O2 modules you got."
Frank : "What are you talking about? No."
Hawk : "I love ya Frank, but why do ya have to be such a killjoy all the time. Besides that you ever seen a prettier moon?"
Harry : "Nah this stuff isn't getting to me, the shootings, the knifings, the beatings. Old ladies being bashed in the head for their social security checks. Teacher's being thrown out of a 4th floor window because they don't give A's. That doesn't bother me a bit!"
Man : "C'mon Harry, take it easy."
Harry : "Or this job either. Having to wade through the scum of this city. Being swept away by bigger and bigger waves of corruption, apathy and red tape. Nah that doesn't bother me. But you know what does bother me?"
Man : "What?"
Harry : "You know what makes me really sick to my stomach?"
Man : "What?"
Harry : "It's watching you stuff your face with those hotdogs! Nobody--I mean nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog!"
"Listen punk! To me you're nothing but dog sh*t, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dog sh*t. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground, it can dry up and blow away in the wind, or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog sh*ts ya."
Harry : "Well, we're not just gonna let you walk out of here?"
Robber : "Who's we sucker?"
Harry : "Smith and Wesson and me."
Briggs : "You're a dinosaur, Callahan. Your ideas don't fit today."
Harry : "Just what ideas are these. That murders a crime that it shouldn't be punished!"
Briggs : "Don't you lecture me you son of a bitch. You know who you're talking to? You know my record?"
Harry : "Yeah, you're a legend in your own mind."
"Go ahead, make my day!"
Harry : "Do you know the emergency phone number for San Francisco general?"
Woman : "Yes I do."
Harry : "Well why don't you call them right now, and have them send down an ambulance. Tell them there's two sorry looking assholes here with multiple contusions and various abrasions and broken bones."
Man : "I read about it. A hooker wasn't she?"
Harry : "A very expensive one. In fact her specialty was making old scum bags mellow and worldly. I think she had a special customer that told her a lot of things."
Man : "You are a fool Callahan."
Harry : "She might have been clever enough to write these things down. Maybe she made a copy of it. Maybe she didn't even tell about it when she was being tortured and beaten. I wonder what that old scum bags bosses are going say when they find out about it. Or maybe his family. Maybe his ass is in a ringer!"
Man : "You, you fu...fu...bast..."
Harry : "Good morning Horace."
Horace : "Sweet sister sadie. Where the hell did you get that?"
Harry : "I've had it awhile. I just thought I'd get used to it."
Horace : "I heard about the car. Fabulous coming after you in tanks."
Harry : "Yeah, they're making those these days. For shakes and business executives, hoods. Impregnable to about anything but artillery."
Horace : "Well, you got that covered."
Harry : "Not bad."
Horace : "Not bad my ass. You got to strain the remains for the fingerprints."
Harry : "Well this is the .44 Magnum automag and holds a 300 grain cartridge and if properly used it can remove the fingerprints."
THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT
Excuse me, uh, I don't wish to be forward but we'd like to exchange cars with you, so the faster you get out the better it will be for your ass!
: "Stop f**king Bob's wife. He doesn't like it."
Steve Everett : "What did he do, put it in the company newspaper?"
Alan Mann : "Listen, if he comes to me and he wants your ass, I'm gonna have to give it to him. Then you'll just be a hole with no ass around it."
Alan Mann : "You should've f**ked my wife! I'd' have just punched ya out!"
Steve Everett : "I did f**k your wife."
Alan Mann : "Oh lucky bastard how was she, good?"
Steve Everett : "A real wild cat."
Alan Mann : "right."
Steve Everett : "But that's not the problem."
Alan Mann : "What's your problem, huh? Tell papa. You can come to papa, you soulless sack of sh*t. C'mon what is it?"
Steve Everett : "It's a...Frank Beecham. I think he may be innocent."
Alan Mann : "How was she?"
Steve Everett : "None of your damn business...not bad!"
Alan Mann : "Lucky bastard. I always like her and respected her. Hey - did I ever tell you about that assistant D.A. I was banging in New York?"
Steve Everett : "No and if you start to tell me now I'm gonna come across that desk and rip your throat out with my bare hands."
Steve Everett : "No I got to talk to ya...this is..."
Cecilia Nussbaum : "Not now, call my office."
Steve Everett : "This is important, it really is."
Wally : "Look will you please just back up."
Steve Everett : "Hey - back off will ya! What are you a court attorney or something? Go ahead and hit a reporter and see how long you keep your god damn job."
Cecilia Nussbaum : "Would you get in the car Wally."
Steve Everett : "Yeah why don't you get in the car Wally."
Wally : "New York asshole."
"How could you have seen over the potato chips?"
Man : "Why would I say I saw a gun if I didn't see a gun."
Steve Everett : "I don't know. Maybe you just like telling a story, or telling the police or the reporters something they didn't already have. Maybe you like telling the girls around the office, around the coffee machine, stuff like that."
Steve Everett : "I got all the personal crap right here in this book!"
Bob Findley : "Good."
Steve Everett : "There. He believes in God. He thinks he's gonna go to heaven. He's happier than a pig in sh*t! He's glad their juicing him today. Go ahead write up your god damn side-bar!"
Bob Findley : "That's not the point, ok."
Steve Everett : "Of course it's not the point!"
Steve Everett : "The guy is not guilty."
Bob Findley : "Ah come on, will ya Steve."
Steve Everett : "Look this isn't a human interest side-bar, it's a cruci-f**king-fiction!"
Bob Findley : "Yeah right."
Steve Everett : "What do you want, me to look up at the cross and say how's the weather up there?"
Steve Everett : "Dammit Bob why don't you hit me in the f**king face, will ya! I'll fall down, I'll bleed, I'll do all that. I deserve it! Then you can go home and hit your wife cause she likes it."
Alan : "Ohhh-oh-oh-oh..."
TWO MULES FOR SISTER SARA
Hogan : "It's nice to hear you laugh ma'am."
Sara : "You think nuns don't laugh?"
Hogan : "I don't know, I never spent the night with one before."
Little Bill : "You just shot an unarmed man!"
Will Munny : "Well he should have armed himself, if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend."
"It's a hell of a thing killing a man...to take away all he's got...and all he's ever gonna have."
"We all got it coming, kid."
"That's right. I've killed woman and children. I've killed just about everything that ever walked or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you Little Bill....for what you did to Ned."
"You ain't ugly like me."
"Deserve's got nothin' to do with it."
WHERE EAGLES DARE
Smith : "Lieutenant, in the next 15 minutes we have to create enough confusion to get out of here alive."
Lt. Schaffer : "Major, right now you got me about as confused as I ever hope to be."